Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
EcoMoms everywhere who have ever been Walmart junkies can sigh a little sigh of relief. I read a snippet about Walmart's reusable bags, and I was happy to see my old favorite Canadian-make-me-feel-like-I'm-back-in-the- States-store was attempting to go green.
Truly, when I moved to Ottawa, Ontario in 1993, I had to ask myself what kind of freaky place I had agreed to move to. All stores, except the Quickie Mart, were closed on Sundays. If that wasn't shocking enough, to know what the heck I was buying, I had to spin things around at the grocery store to turn the French labels into English. Milk came in bags. Meat came in kilos.
When Walmart opened in Ottawa, I took one look at the store hours--open past 6 on weekdays and open on Sunday, I felt a tinge of relief (I was actually in a panic about stores being closed on Sundays and holidays, though I learned to love it). Ahhhh, how American, a store chock full of everything you didn't need and needed at the same time.
My shopping at Walmart became such a comfort habit, that I had to de-Walmartize myself when I moved to Swank County in 1999. It wasn't too hard, there are many stores here where you can shop for useless junk. Although, I never shop at Walmart now (we don't have one), it made the cold, Canadian winters a little more friendly and eased my capitalist consumer loneliness.
Go for the green Walmart!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Even at the age of 12, I was never a slim and tiny kind of girl. Once, I read that a pioneer man going west wanted to marry a woman that could “pull the plow if the mule died.” I am definitely one of those kind of girls. Heck, I could probably fix the plow and invent a better model.
Visions of mules aside, I was on a mission to find the woman’s holy grail: the perfect pair of jeans. I only needed one pair that looked halfway decent to replace the three or four pairs that I am retiring to the never gonna happen pile. That new exercise plan? That new diet? Never gonna happen.
In a cute, little boutique, where the saleswomen treat you like a long, lost girlfriend, I admitted that I needed professional retail advice...er... help. It was kind of like an episode of Friends, but these gals rallying around me in my moment of low self-esteem weren’t really my friends, were they? They seemed more like slim, fun loving vultures.
Together, we inspected my butt and muffin top from every angle in at least 20 pairs of jeans. I’m pretty sure that this is the most staring my butt has ever experienced. The best, most comfy jeans were on sale, but, made me look 10 pounds heavier—according to the serious looks and the sad, downcast eyes of the sales-friends. They even pulled a mom guilt quote, "They don't look the best, but if you really don't mind the bagging and sagging in the butt..."
This is when one my newest friends said “You need Yummie Tummies!” She disappeared at high speed, bounding into the back room. She came back breathless and excited as she handed me a spandex tank top. She must of misunderstood my mission. What I really needed was to buy a pair of pants that don’t come with a girdle as an accessory.
My friend assured me that every woman in low rise jeans gets a muffin top and that is why Yummie Tummies are the lastest, greatest invention. So great, that she only had one left and it was size small. I am no size small, if I have to remind you, especially not on top.
Closing the curtain on my new friends, I emerged with visa in hand to buy a pair of jeans that made my “figure look terrific.” I managed to spend a catrillion dollars—yes, I squeezed into the size small girdle and bought it—only to find at home that these new jeans were the same brand and size I had on my discard pile! I had made the same jean mistake twice!
At that moment, I wondered if I should have gone jean shopping with some of my REAL friends. I did forget to say, though, that it was REAL friends that sent my on my quest in the first place. If they would just stop exercising and start eating sugar and bread again, I’d be able to relax a little more and enjoy my muffin top.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tonight I'm eating Phad Thai and downing my Pinot at a record pace. This is when I realize that I'm eating my dinner standing up in my kitchen. The kids are at the table eating their meal, and I'm taking a bite, then loading the dishwasher. Then I take a drink, and wash out the sink.
*Bite: organize the recycling.
*Sip: take a hairbrush off the counter and put it in the bathroom.
*Bite: tell John and Birk to stop kicking each other under the table.
*Sip: feed the dog.
*Bite: I.M. my life partner and ask when he might be coming home.
*Sip: serve Ruth more pot stickers.
*Bite: answer the phone.
*Sip: explain to telemarketer that I'm not home.
How many other women are out there eating standing up like horses? $40 take out and a glass of $20/per bottle Pinot deserves better conditions than standing up and eating like a horse. Am I wrong? Next I'll be sleeping standing up. Although it would save laundry costs and I'd never have to make my bed.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Like so many of my cool blogging friends out there, I've decided to create my very own award...
- You must load the dishwasher every night.
- Cooking dinner would earn you extra points.
- Tag all of your children and give them the next round of dishwasher unloading duty.
- Write 5 things that you love about being married to me on romantic stationery and seal it with a kiss. Mail it to me snail mail.
Are you allowed to brag on your blog? I know this is a funny thought. I can easily write about the funny or the crappy, but when it comes to the fabulous, I have a hard time finding the words. If I do stumble along and find the words, it just sounds too boastful.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I'm supposed to do two things with this award: 1. Tell 5 honest things about me. 2. Pass this on to 5 deserving blogs--I'd like to share the love and award this award to some new, fun blogs.
5 Honest Things
1. I don't like to get cut flowers as a gift. First, I'm allergic (especially lilies) and second, I'm no good at keeping them alive or arranging them.
2. Carmel is my ultimate sweet thing. If it's on an apple at Halloween time, it's even better!
3. I'm a junky shopaholic. I love to troll antique shops and discount stores. There is no hunt at the corner boutique that can satisfy the thrill of the kill at Marshalls or TJ Maxx.
4. I was a preschool teacher and a middle school teacher--the parents were always harder to handle and cater to than the kids.
5. My mom is a vegetarian and my dad was a dairy farmer. Their daughter is a hybrid crazy, picky beef-eating vegetarian. Say what?
5 Cool Blogs That I've Been Recently Introduced To:
1. Shimmer Me Blue
2. a picture or memory a day
3. Three different directions
4. Wife and Mom of 3
5. parenting BY dummies
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise;
they no longer rise when elders enter the room;
they contradict their parents, chatter before company;
gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.
--Socrates, Fifth Century B.C.
Monday, May 4, 2009
There was a cute exercise that was folded like a greeting card that said, "I like the taste of..." Then your child put in what they liked. Birk of course put her favorite, ice cream. I smiled to myself.
However, my smile turned to horror when I turned the page:
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Rules of the meme. Respond and rework. Answer questions on your own blog. Replace one question. Add one question. Tag 8 people.
Here I go...
2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? Workout clothes, it makes me look like at least I'm trying.
3. Last dream you had? I don't get enough REM sleep to dream lately.
4. Last thing you bought? Sandals
5. What are you listening to? The peaceful, quiet of all three kids being at school.
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? I might like to go back to work as a preschool teacher--it keeps you young and I'd cry if I don't get to read Good Night Moon ever again.
7. Favourite holiday spots? Home :)
8. Reading right now? Canadian Living Magazine
9. Four words to describe yourself. Tired, caring, happy, spontaneous.
10. Guilty pleasure? Shopping
11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak? My husband. He has a great sense of humor.
12. Favourite spring thing to do? Get out the summer furniture, plant some flowers and hang out and enjoy the sun.
13. Planning to travel to next? Sonoma
14. Best thing you ate or drank lately? Those cookies from question #1!
15. Dream vacation? Taking my kids to Europe to learn about history.
16. Favourite ever film? Out Of Africa (love the book, too!)
17. Care to share some wisdom? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
18. Song you can't get out of your head? The Little Sister Blues
19. Thing you are looking forward to? Summer break